We’ve had a rocky start to the school year, with lots of ups and downs. Now that we are approaching the beginning of Autumn things seem to be settling down. Still there have been some important and beautiful things that I have learned.
Taking the time to be by myself up in the mountains is the most restorative thing I can do for myself, in a way that no walk around the city can. It is the silence that my mind craves, these days of rushing from home to campus to home to pick up Alder to studying, leave little space in my mind to process the bigger picture and to nurture myself.
That when I get lost in all the small details of what I’m working on it is important to step back and look at where I am really going. But at the same time it is easy to get lost in “the future” where there are no imperfections. It is a careful balance between all of this.
I need to trust my convictions about how to live my life. That people who try to sell me on the traditional model may be good hearted but they generally have a very narrow view of how the future should go. They will try hard to change my mind about the way I am trying to shift my life because they feel like they wither know better or think that we want the same things.
When I reach a barrier inside myself take a step back and look to see where it comes from. Look deeply and then move forward (as I learned last night this is not a middle of the night thing to do). There is no benefit in pushing up against a barrier hoping to just knock it down. Instead it has to be understood and removed.