We’ve had a rocky start to the school year, with lots of ups and downs. Now that we are approaching the beginning of Autumn things seem to be settling down. Still there have been some important and beautiful things that I have learned.
Taking the time to be by myself up in the mountains is the most restorative thing I can do for myself, in a way that no walk around the city can. It is the silence that my mind craves, these days of rushing from home to campus to home to pick up Alder to studying, leave little space in my mind to process the bigger picture and to nurture myself.
That when I get lost in all the small details of what I’m working on it is important to step back and look at where I am really going. But at the same time it is easy to get lost in “the future” where there are no imperfections. It is a careful balance between all of this.
I need to trust my convictions about how to live my life. That people who try to sell me on the traditional model may be good hearted but they generally have a very narrow view of how the future should go. They will try hard to change my mind about the way I am trying to shift my life because they feel like they wither know better or think that we want the same things.
When I reach a barrier inside myself take a step back and look to see where it comes from. Look deeply and then move forward (as I learned last night this is not a middle of the night thing to do). There is no benefit in pushing up against a barrier hoping to just knock it down. Instead it has to be understood and removed.
Shannon had this on her blog (with a whole trail of wonderful woman before her) it seemed like a simple way to share in the midst of the busyness that is life right now.
making : a new dress out of an old one.
cooking : dumplings, seaweed salads, and olive oil cakes
drinking : mint tea
reading : Coming Home to Eat
wanting : a new bed
looking : at the aspen leaves in the breeze near the base of Mt Shavino
playing : Sunday morning games with A
wasting : sleep over pointless stress
sowing : motivation for others
wishing : for peace in A’s heart as he goes to school
enjoying : design classes
waiting : for the end of my classes so I can truly begin
liking : the feel of jeans and socks as the weather cools
wondering : how to move from planning to implementing
loving : time alone in the mountains
hoping : that my loves will find as much peacen the coming months
marvelling : at how my life is returning to first loves
needing : to finish reorganizing the studio
smelling : rain on pavement
wearing : long sleeves and scarves
following : Camp Creek blog; to remind me of my goals
noticing : the way A has changed so much over the summer
knowing : that if I work hard enough things will come together
thinking : of ways to soften the blow of school for A
bookmarking : residential design ideas
opening : windows after a hot few weeks and letting the breeze blow in
giggling : at cat antics
feeling : tired and inspired