It is all in the timing, you know this. Passing by your favorite building just at the right moment may pepper us with rainbows. You know that somewhere up high there are giant pieces of glass, shaped just right to catch the sun as it passes by. But it is hard to know the timing one month to the next, as it slips from solstice to equinox.
You have always known exactly what works and doesn’t work for you. When you say you want to paint you don’t just stare at the shelf but already have decided which paint to use. At home you make your needs clear, and often your wants. But out away from here it takes you longer. You care so much for how others feel that you wait until you have a strong connection, then when you are comfortable you speak. (Perhaps that is my hopefulness and not the fact that you feel ignored). So it has been a long year of you sharing little with us about your time out in the big world, and sharing less with the people you spend everyday with what it is that you need. And, of course because you care so much for how the people around you feel it has taken you until now to share your feelings, but what was only partially clear a few weeks ago now is brilliantly clear.
Now it is up to us to help you, to bring you back like the spinach, beets, arugula, and carrots you planted. What was only a vague protest in the winter has become a clear statement as the ground warms and the days lengthen. You inspire me with more conviction that I have always known your soul and how to feed it. We have shed so many tears, each of us saying things we never thought we would. It has brought us to now which is a different sort of beginning.